


Hand Me Down Gently

by aireyv, hingabee



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Flashbacks, Graphic Description of Corpses, M/M, MGS1 Otacon ending, Slow Burn, Suggestive Themes, mentions of Meryl and Wolf, optional Solicon and Liquidmantis in the background
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:13:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25998064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aireyv/pseuds/aireyv, https://archiveofourown.org/users/hingabee/pseuds/hingabee
Summary: He watched Shadow Moses - Liquid’s final resting place, among so many others’ - fade into the background over his shoulder as he and Snake rode the snowmobile away over the glacier.
Relationships: Liquid Snake/Otacon, Otacon & Solid Snake
Comments: 7
Kudos: 9
Collections: Metal Gear Solid - Summer Games -2020





	Hand Me Down Gently

**Author's Note:**

> No, we physically cannot produce fic that does not involve Liquidmantis somehow. Thanks for understanding follow us on twitter or whatever

Otacon looked down at the corpse in the snow.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“About Meryl?” Snake said.

Liquid looked so pathetic, compared to just a few minutes before when he’d been so  _ aggressively _ alive. His hair was tangled, his extremities were blackened and blistered from the cold and whatever FOXDIE had done to his circulation; it was perfectly visible where Snake’s bullets had struck him but that hadn’t seemed to slow him down at all. He’d kept pursuing even with his heart failing and his lungs rattling full of lead. He probably had some broken bones from falling off REX. Otacon almost wanted to kneel down and shake him -- almost didn’t believe he was  _ really _ dead, that  _ anything _ could manage to take him out after all that.

“Yeah,” he said, throat dry.

Snake hugged his arms to himself stiffly. "She was so young... didn't deserve any of this."

" _ Yeah _ ," Otacon said again and wiped his face so that the tears and snot wouldn't freeze on his skin. "Too young."

Humming in acknowledgement, Snake turned towards him. "I know you're exhausted, but we've got to get out of here. It's over."

And he was right – it  _ was _ over. There was no REX to work on, no Wolf to impress, no Liquid to....

"Otacon?"

"Yes. Yes, you're right. But what about Liquid? W-We can't just leave him here like this, right?"

Snake stared at him in disbelief. "What? You wanna hold a service for him? We don't have time for sentimentalities – he tried to kill us! Multiple times!"

Otacon looked down at Liquid's face.

For once he didn't look angry, frustrated – in life he'd never seemed peaceful, not even when....

Snake grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled Otacon with him.

Even through Snake’s gloves and Otacon’s coat, his hand was still warm and rough and his grip was strong. He felt like Liquid. Not that Liquid would grab him by the shoulder like that. Liquid was the type to direct people by touching their waists. Liquid was the type to manhandle with even less pretext.

The first time Otacon had met him he never could have guessed that this is how it all would end. The first time he’d met him it had been disarmingly normal, a meeting between the team leader of the REX project and the squadron commander of the military unit sent to supervise the final tests. Liquid treated like an equal, professionally. Personally, not so much. He could snap Otacon in half and they both knew it.

Still, when Liquid shook his hand and looked deep into his eyes, Otacon didn’t feel scared at all.

He watched Shadow Moses - Liquid’s final resting place, among so many others’ - fade into the background over his shoulder as he and Snake rode the snowmobile away over the glacier.

* * *

"Oh, gosh!" Otacon exclaimed, scrambling out of his chair and rushing to turn down the stove.

In a fruitless effort he tried to salvage what was left of his overcooked instant ramen over the sink – the water had spilled over and was now running down the side of the kitchen cabinets.

Snake watched him from the couch with a barely noticeable smirk. "When you said you were in charge of dinner tonight I didn't expect you to put on a show for me."

Otacon sighed and carefully attempted to fish the boiling hot noodles out of the sink, rinsing off any dirt with cold water before placing them in two bowls.

"It's not much, uh, but I made it through college on these, so I still have a soft spot for them."

"I'm surprised you survived until now, then – if this is all you eat. This stuff has about zero nutritional value, it's not good for you," Snake grunted but still accepted the offered bowl.

Otacon smiled awkwardly and sat back down at his desk to chow down his own portion, expectantly watching Snake.

"So? How is it?"

Snake grimaced at him. "Awful."

He wasn't hurt by that, kind of had expected it really. Though Otacon could've laughed, shrugged the comment off easily if it wasn't the direct echo of something Liquid Snake had told him less than a year ago.

But unlike his brother he had insisted on trying out Otacon's lunch, very interested in the colourful packaging.

"I had something like this all the time when I was a kid!" Liquid told him cheerfully. "Spent a few years on the run, ha! We stole them from the store and ate the noodles raw on the way home, tasted like proper crisps."

Pushing up his glasses and eyeing Liquid nervously, Otacon started preparing the ramen. "...are you  _ supposed _ to tell me about this?"

"No! Highly classified information and all that!" Liquid laughed loudly. 

"O-Oh..."

"But, if you share your lunch with me I'll let you off the hook, doctor! Or how about I invite you to dinner at my quarters – you see, being the unit's commander does have it's perks when it comes to food quality!" He winked.

Otacon gawked at him.

"I mean it! Hurry up now, we'll have to go over the simulations again before my break is over. Show me REX's cute little railgun again, will you?"

When the noodles were done and the two of them had sat down in front of the PC screen, Otacon looked over at Liquid curiously.

"So, does it remind you of... ah, back then?"

Liquid shoved another spoonful of noodles in his mouth. "Yeah."

"How's it taste?"

"Bloody awful!"

They shared a comfortable laugh.

In retrospect, Otacon had to acknowledge that it wasn’t about him, it was about REX. Liquid wanted him to like him for his own convenience, to make his coup easier. Otacon couldn’t quite convince himself that that had been his intentions the whole time, but it had most certainly started out that way.

But at the time he didn’t know. Well, he did know that Liquid was going out of his way to make him like him, he wasn’t exactly  _ subtle _ about it, but Otacon never would have guessed his true motives. And anyway, at the very beginning he’d had some other misconceptions to distract him.

“Whose boots are those?” he hadn’t been able to stop himself from asking when he saw them in Liquid’s quarters. They  _ clearly _ weren’t his.

Liquid glanced at the boots then back at Otacon, eyebrow raised. “They belong to Psycho Mantis, why? Haven’t you met him?”

“Uh. I have.” It hadn’t been pleasant. “But why are they… in…”

Liquid laughed. It was hardly the first time Otacon had been laughed at but somehow it didn’t feel… mocking. “What, are you worried?”

“Worried? Why would I be- worried about what?”

“If there’s another man sharing my quarters,” Liquid teased.

“Oh, I-- I didn’t assume it was-  _ like that _ …”

“What’s the matter if it is? Sit down, Dr. Emmerich.”

Otacon did just that, awkwardly looking around the room as Liquid finished setting the small table by the window.

"Uh, I suppose I did hear that rumour about the two of you being childhood friends..."

Liquid hummed, seemingly in agreement. "Yes. Friends, huh? That damn Octopus." He chuckled.

Otacon also chuckled, quietly panicking about the implications of Liquid's words.

Sure, the man wasn't  _ exactly _ what Otacon would view as the stereotypical heterosexual male, with the hair and the accent and all. But Liquid wasn't particulary effiminate, nor did his behaviour indicate any interest in the same sex – quite the opposite, actually. Otacon had spent many a night fretting about how  _ close _ Wolf and the commander were. 

Maybe he was being too judgemental too, maybe Liquid didn't have to seem obviously gay to be attracted to men. But... was he? And openly, at that? Whatever had happened to 'don't ask, don't tell'? 

God, maybe it was just him being European. 

"Don't worry, Doctor, I can assure you that there won't be any uncouth happenings in my quarters – especially if I have such an esteemed guest visiting." Liquid did a little cheeky bow, clearly toying with him.

Otacon relaxed a little and let Liquid fill up his glass with champagne. 

He really wasn't dressed for the occasion, was he? Even the commander had put on a shirt.

This was fine. Liquid was being nice and courteous, he seemed like a honest man who wore his heart on his sleeve, considering he never seemed to shut up. Otacon felt a little guilty for all his assumptions and suspicions – but his stupid brain just refused to let him enjoy himself at times like this. 

...Liquid was still talking.

"—and I know he can be a bit intimidating at times, but don't listen to Octopus or the recruits' chatter, they don't know him like I do." He fixed Otacon with his eyes. "Heh. Say, Doctor Emmerich, you must think we soldiers are all nuts, huh?"

"Uh, not at all..." 

"You've been staring at me like I'm some kind of alien for the past five minutes!"

Otacon snorted. If that were true he'd probably feel less awkward about interacting with Liquid.

He made to answer, but Liquid interrupted him with an exaggerated sigh. "It's alright, I don't blame you." 

He leaned in closer and beckoned Otacon to do the same.

"Just between us, but I'm not exactly the best at maneuvering... eh,  _ social _ interactions," Liquid confessed, smiling sheepishly. "But I figured with how lost you looked in that lab of yours, you'd be the last one to judge me, huh?"

Otacon stared at him.

"That's a compliment, by the way," Liquid added quickly.

...was he fucking with him? Otacon genuinely couldn't tell. Liquid seemed to be convinced of his own words, but so far everything he had seen from the man pointed in the opposite direction.

Liquid was a  _ great _ leader – the recruits liked him, the other members of his unit seemed to follow him with blind loyalty. Hell, he had even managed to drag Otacon away from his Computer on a friday night. 

Unless... FOXHOUND's commander was deliberately playing vulnerable to get Otacon to open up in turn. 

"..."

"I'm sorry, Doctor. I meant no disrespect!"

"No, don't be sorry." Otacon emptied his glass in one daring go. "I just— could it be that you're... a little insecure?"

He was prepared to get his ass handed to him. After all, sitting with the jocks had already been a bad idea in high school.

Liquid blinked. "Er, yes? Maybe. You're probably right. But enough about me, tell me about yourself!"

Otacon nodded meekly, staring at his empty plate, praying that the food would soon be done.

In the end they managed to hold a nice little conversation, easy enough for Otacon to relax – thanks to Liquid's lighthearted humour and creepily friendly attitude. 

The food was great too, Liquid didn't exactly reveal how he had managed to get something that clearly was classes above the mess hall chef's level of expertise, though Otacon chose not to pry. 

It was awkward but nice and for the first time in forever Otacon actually felt like a normal fucking person.

* * *

When he first proposed Philanthropy, Snake thought that what Otacon wanted was a way to redeem himself.

“Yeah,” Otacon said, adjusting his glasses.

“For making Metal Gear?”

“...yeah. Too many people have been… hurt by this kind of thing.”

Solid nodded, but kept a close eye on Otacon. Probably thinking that as far as either of them knew, nobody  _ innocent _ had ever died because of a Metal Gear. Finding out that Meryl had been alive the whole time and Snake was just too fucking stupid to check for a pulse had really taken the wind out of the sails of righteous indignation.

But that wasn’t what drew Otacon to the idea, anyway.

“You think things would have worked out better for Wolf if she hadn’t gotten involved with Metal Gear?” It wasn’t unexpected of Snake to bring up Wolf.

Otacon found himself nodding. “You ever think FOXHOUND was just… I don’t know, misguided?”

“I could buy it for Wolf.” Snake lit a cigarette, willfully oblivious to Otacon wrinkling his nose in disgust. “Based on what she told me. As for the others…”

“They were at Shadow Moses for a while before they launched their coup,” Otacon said, almost without thinking. He’d never talked to Snake about this before. “They weren’t so bad.”

“Just happened to be loyal to an absolute nutcase, huh?”

“...”

“Getting rid of Metal Gears won’t get rid of the Liquid Snakes of the world.”

“That’s not what I was saying,” Otacon mumbled. “Just hear me out, okay?”

Snake seemed to resist any suggestion Otacon made and it came across as instinctual - like he just wasn’t physically capable of fully trusting Otacon’s judgement. Maybe he was right. Otacon was naïve enough to believe that Liquid had been the opposite of his brother:  _ receptive _ . He always acted like he took Otacon’s ideas so seriously, like Otacon was the smartest person in the world and Liquid hung on every word.

“So it  _ is _ possible for a single man to pilot it!” Liquid said, eyes glimmering, scrutinizing the blueprints Otacon was showing him. “I was so worried it wouldn’t.”

“There was a lot of talk about making it completely automated,” Otacon said sheepishly, “but I thought, in a really serious situation, there needed to be some kind of option for manual control. Besides, I trust people more with the nation’s defense than I would a computer. I think there are factors that computers can’t really--”

“You’re absolutely right, doctor,” Liquid said, slapping him on the back. Almost knocked his glasses right off his face. Otacon fixed them, face glowing.

Liquid was so easy and liberal with his praise that Otacon kept coming back to him, again and again.

Not so much with Snake. He wasn’t mean or anything - he did seem to appreciate Otacon in his own, small ways. But having to shack up together wasn’t easy. Snake hadn’t had a roommate since he’d left the Army and Otacon could  _ really _ tell.

“Oh, for God’s sake, Snake! Close the door if you’re going to do that!”

Snake got up and slammed the door, but not before Otacon could catch his irritated expression at being interrupted. Otacon winced. He wished he could  _ say _ something about it but it just wasn’t in his nature to be confrontational.

It wasn’t like he went into this not knowing it was going to be maybe 5% actually destroying Metal Gears and 95% waiting for tips, moving from apartment to apartment, bailing each other out of jail, and following leads that went nowhere. Otacon did most of the grunt work, sometimes helped by Mei Ling but more often on his own. Snake couldn’t have helped with the technical stuff if he wanted to but Otacon had to be fair and remind himself that  _ he _ wasn’t about to go take on a giant walking tank himself.

Life right now was deeply frustrating and even completed missions couldn’t pull Otacon out of it. It was simpler back when he was still back in ArmsTech.

Back at Shadow Moses.  
  
Liquid was the first person in his life that seemed to show just as much interest for Otacon as he did in turn. Sometimes it even felt like Liquid was a little bit _more_ invested in… whatever it was that they had going on than Otacon was himself. 

“Hey, Doctor!” Liquid grinned and sat down on Otacon’s desk, which made a pitiful creaking sound under the weight of two hundred pounds of pure muscle and pride. “What are you up to?”

Otacon adjusted his glasses and peered up at him. 

“ _ Work _ ?”

Rolling his eyes, Liquid kicked his legs and tried to get a look at the computer screen. 

“Looks boring. Can you make it shoot from the rail gun again?”

“Actually I am trying to figure out a way to increase the walking speed, I’m mostly doing calculations right now. You’ll have to wait until we start with the simulations.”

Liquid groaned and threw his head back – Otacon tried to not stare at his chest and neck.  _ God, you’d think exhibitionism is a requirement to join FOXHOUND. _

“And here I thought I had successfully sneaked off to have some fun instead of organising boring meetings and making sure the recruits don’t shoot each other during training...”

He was clearly not planning to leave the lab anytime soon either, so Otacon sighed and saved his progress, turning off the screen. 

“I’d imagine your… uh,  _ comrades  _ to be the exact opposite of boring though? They’re all quite… eccentric.”

“They’re bloody annoying!” Liquid scoffed. “Won’t stop trying to get a rise out of me – I’m their damn commander! I’d demote them all if it wouldn’t require so much paperwork.”

Otacon laughed at that. “Even, ah, Mantis?”

“Are you kidding me?” Liquid threw his hands up. “He’s the  _ worst  _ of the lot!”

“But why do you come here when you’re bored? I mean, it’s not like the technical stuff is really exciting to someone… who’s...”

Liquid raised one eyebrow. 

“Do you think I’m stupid, doctor?”

_ Oh shit. _

“Of course not,” Otacon mumbled. “I just meant that most people, uh, find it pretty boring.”

“I don’t think you’re boring,” Liquid said.

“...really?”

“Of course not! I do like to see people being passionate about their interests. Too many people hide it out of embarrassment and I think that’s ridiculous.”

Otacon flushed. He was much more used to people tacitly condoning said embarrassment.

Liquid chuckled at him. “You’ve been hanging around the wrong sort of people for your whole life, haven’t you?”

“I-- I don’t know.”

“That’s one of the perks of FOXHOUND, I suppose. Nobody has a right to judge anybody about their quirks. It’s a shame you’d never pass the physical requirements, Doctor.”

Otacon looked down self-consciously. “Yeah, I really don’t think I’m cut out for military stuff.”

“But your technological contributions are brilliant.”

“Th-thank you.”

“Why don’t you come take a walk with me?” Liquid stood up. “Let’s go look at REX, see how that’s coming along.”

Otacon balked. “My department isn’t supposed to be-”

Liquid tugged on his sleeve. “Come on,” he said, smiling cheekily, “we’ll sneak in.”

The hangar where REX was being worked on wasn't isolated well enough to keep out the bitter Alaskan cold. 

Otacon zipped up his parka and hugged himself, glancing over at Liquid who seemed to be completely unbothered.

For a moment they silently stared up at the giant moloch of metal and tech, REX's hulking silhouette an imposing sight.

" _ Wow _ ," Liquid breathed. "I'll never get enough of staring at her."

Otacon snorted. " _ Her? _ I actually intended for it to be a... uh, well, boy. As far as that's possible, it isn't a sentient being after all. But it's "REX', y'know? Not ‘REGINA’..."

"Sorry, doctor. It just reminded me of something, that's all." 

Otacon made to ask him to clarify, but Liquid promptly started scaling the ladder to the platform that had a ramp leading up to the cockpit, still open for frequent reconfigurations.

Cursing under his breath, Otacon quickly followed, panting slightly when he finally reached the top to join Liquid. 

...he really needed to get into shape.

"Gosh,  _ please _ don't touch anything. We're going to get in so much trouble if we mess with the construction!"

Liquid Snake, commander of the elusive FOXHOUND unit, simply stuck out his tongue at him.

"Sit down with me, let's enjoy the view!" Liquid exclaimed, voice giddy. "Isn't it incredible to feel all this raw energy around you? You could squish dozens of your enemies with a few simple flicks of your wrist!"

Otacon shivered and poked his head in to shoot Liquid a scrutinising look. "Enemies?  _ Really? _ "

“What, I thought REX was for defensive purposes?” Liquid said quickly, then patted the consol next to him. “Come, come, sit. You’re too tense, Doctor.”

Reluctantly Otacon sat down. There was definitely not enough space in REX’s cockpit for two people, so he was practically sitting on Liquid’s lap. Liquid laughed at Otacon’s flustered expression.

“That’s right,” he said. “Why don’t you relax some?”

“It’s not much of a view,” Otacon mumbled. “It’s just the warehouse.”

“You have to use your imagination,” Liquid replied, tapping his forehead. “We won’t stay in this dreary place forever.”

“‘We’?”

“What? Haven’t you ever felt you’re meant for something better than this?”

“Uh… not really,” Otacon said.

Liquid snorted. “Then what’s the  _ point _ of it all - why get into designing Metal Gears in the first place?”

“Dunno,” Otacon said, shrugging helplessly. “I just wanted to make robots like in animé.”

Liquid laughed.

“I- I was being serious…”

“I knew there was a reason why I liked you,” he grinned at him.

He had to be honest to god fucking with him, right?

“Ah– that’s not… You’re being kind of… weird,” Otacon said very quietly, all too aware of how nice it felt to sit next to someone who was radiating warmth like a space heater in the cold.

Looking taken aback, Liquid’s grin faded – he seemed almost… insecure?

“I– …bollocks, maybe Mantis was right...” he mumbled absentmindedly and motioned for Otacon to get out of the cockpit. “Let’s leave before I get you into trouble, doctor.”

“Wait, what are you talking about?”

Liquid grimaced. “I can tell you’re uncomfortable. I may be loud and overbearing but even I recognise when my interest is unwanted. Jesus, I shrugged it off because Mantis can get really hysterical and jealous when it comes to me getting close to people that aren’t him but–“

“It’s alright! I’m alright, I mean!” Otacon stumbled over his words. “It’s just… you’re the freaking commander… ”

“Er, yes?”

“Listen, I don’t want to interfere in your relationship but – I’m confused.” He inhaled and dared to make eye contact at length. “You, you  _ like _ me?”

Otacon felt Liquid’s hand on his shoulder, supportive and gentle – not intrusive or inappropriate at all.

“You– it’s not often I come across people like you, Doctor…”

“What? Engineers?”

“No–“ Liquid looked like a kicked puppy, but Otacon felt his anxiety getting the better of him – lack of sleep and proper food with all the crunch as of lately certainly didn’t contribute to lessen this condition. “I mean people that aren’t… emotionally stunted, repressed and unhealthily obsessed with violence. Like me.”

Otacon barked out a laugh and kicked his legs, accidentally hitting the dashboard in front of him, unsure if this was Liquid’s attempt at a joke or brutal, naïve honesty.

Before he could open his mouth to speak, however, a screeching alarm started going off, ringing through the hangar. Otacon instinctively covered his ears as Liquid manhandled him out of the cockpit.

Thankfully they made it out in time without being detected by any confused mechanics or guards – Otacon, leaning against a wall in some dimly lit hallway, was wheezing and gasping for air as if he’d just run a marathon.

Liquid’s fingers were digging into his arm tightly and as adrenaline-fueled as he was Otacon did not mind at all.

“That was close...” he breathed, voice strained.

“Yeah,” Liquid said and pulled a few strands of blonde out of his face before letting out a little huff that soon spiraled into hysterical laughter. “I don’t even know why I bolted, I could’ve just told them to piss off. But at least we got to have some fun, huh?”

“ _ Fun? _ I almost peed my pants. You’re insane!” Calling your technical superior who also definitely was carrying a gun right this second ‘insane’ was probably a stupid idea, but Otacon couldn’t help himself.

Liquid smiled sheepishly as he finally loosened his grip on Otacon’s arm. “Sorry, want me to escort you back to your lab? I assume it’s been enough… action for you today, huh?”

He nodded, relieved to not have to figure out the way back by himself – terrible sense of orientation and all that – and awkwardly followed Liquid down the hall, self-consciousness setting in as the adrenaline slowly dispersed.

Liquid liked him. Liquid “Name: Classified” Snake had admitted to liking  _ him _ . And even if Otacon wasn’t the best at reading others, Liquid had seemed painfully sincere. What reason was there to lie about it? It wasn’t like Liquid was planning on launching a terrorist insurrection and was just manipulating Otacon into joining him.

(Hindsight was a bitch.)

“Y’know, I appreciate you telling me… what you, er, told me. But I think you might’ve gotten the wrong impression,” he said, trying to be careful with his words.

“Oh.” Liquid stopped and stared at his feet. “I didn’t mean to–“

Otacon chuckled. “Oh, no! Not that. I just mean – look, I’m not like… emotionally mature or particularly sensible and in harmony with myself or something. I’m a freaking mess, if I’m being honest.”

Liquid smirked. “Hah, maybe that’s what was so intriguing about you, then. God knows, I’ve never been involved with anyone who wasn’t a mess.”

Thinking about the implications of Liquid’s earlier words, Otacon couldn’t help but be curious.

“So, uh, you and Mantis are… ?”

“Oh! Er, well, we’ve been friends since we were kids.”

“Really? And you ended up in the same unit as adults? That’s crazy!”

Otacon started to recognise their surroundings, they were getting closer to the labs.

“Well, we’ve spent some time apart from each other… but we’re, er, really close.” Liquid made a face, clearly embarrassed. “But not in a weird way, or something.”

“’A weird way?’” Otacon laughed. “Is that why you said he is jealous that you, uh, like me?”

“No! It’s not like that! He just thinks he’s entitled to having all my attention to himself. He– ow!” He reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Can we just, not talk about Mantis? He apparently doesn’t like being involved in… this.”

“Uh, alright? Oh, we’re here!”

They stood in front of the lab for a few seconds, awkwardly staring and trying not to look at each other all at the same time.

“Well, Doctor Emmerich – thanks for sacrificing so much of your valuable time to humor me. I really appreciate it.” Liquid cleared his throat.

“Please, feel free to stop by to distract me from my very important work any time!” Otacon offered him a shy smile and Liquid nodded before turning to leave.

Oh, fuck it. Otacon grabbed his wrist, skinny fingers barely fitting around.

“?”

“What you said– I’m not bothered! I, uh, actually… appreciate it. I think I might even… feel similar?” He bit his lip. “Jeez, this is  _ so _ unprofessional… “

“Yeah…” Liquid grinned, flustered slightly – Otacon almost lost it at the sight.

Before he could awkwardly backtrack or make an even bigger fool of himself, Liquid had leaned in, gently kissing him – it was short and soft and Otacon barely had any time to freak out before it was over. He just stood there and stared at Liquid, face red and splotchy. He always got this annoying rash when he was under a lot of stress, ugh.

“Looking forward to seeing you later, doctor! Keep up the good work!”

And with that Liquid was gone, his persona closing back up to the stoic and cold FOXHOUND commander Otacon had come to expect in his head, despite knowing better by now.

* * *

After the tanker went down, Philanthropy was left with little choice but to assert that Snake had gone down with it. To shore up this claim, they needed a body.

They needed, to be specific,  _ Liquid’s _ body. It was the only way to fool a DNA test. And they needed to find it and sink it in the Hudson within a reasonable enough time frame for corpse recovery. How the hell even were they going to do that first part?

“You don’t think it’s still on Shadow Moses, do you?” Snake said.

Otacon shook his head. “I doubt it. You said Ocelot had Liquid’s arm.”

“Yeah.”

“I can’t see him just taking the arm and leaving the body there. It’s gotta be in some secret Patriot morgue somewhere.”

“How are we supposed to find that?”

“I-- I don’t know.”

It wasn’t like they could reach out for help. Aside from the obvious secrecy of such a request, anyone who had previously supported Philanthropy could now no longer afford to be seen supporting them. They’d gone from controversial fringe group to straight-up terrorist organization.

Mei Ling didn’t give a damn.

Being involved in Philanthropy had already been a risk to her career even when people could still sort of see the merits of it. It was, surely, an even greater risk to her career now when she provided Otacon with the location of a top-secret government-run warehouse where cadavers with ‘tactically significant DNA’ were stored. When Otacon asked how on  _ earth _ she’d gotten this information, she only replied with:

Better not to pry. Snake and Otacon were headed to Gary, Indiana the next day.

The warehouse looked run-down to the point of possibly being abandoned, which was totally in keeping for the area. All the entrances were boarded and padlocked - and graffitied over some time ago - but there was supposed to be a basement accessible via tunnel, which could be reached by going down into a certain inconspicuous manhole a few blocks away.

“I don’t want to go into the sewer,” Snake complained over Codec.

Otacon, from the comfort of their base of operations (a slightly moldy and roach-infested motel room), shook his head. “You’re not technically  _ in _ the sewer, Snake.”

“I just went down a manhole. This is the sewer.”

“It’s a maintenance tunnel.”

“It  _ smells _ like a sewer. I should have brought a gas mask.”

“You’re fine, Snake,” he chided. “Just make sure you take a shower when you get back…”

“Ugh.”

Otacon admittedly couldn’t help but feel a little spoiled that he could make Snake do all the dirty, unpleasant work while he simply provided him with directions and cheerleading. Today’s mission would be more unpleasant than most. Snake had an empty body bag in his inventory. Otacon had a large cooler and some big black trash bags on standby in the motel room, for the trip back to New York.

He wasn’t sure he could handle this.

“It’d be pretty ironic if this was the same place they were storing Big Boss’ body,” Snake commented in a grumble.

“Yeah,” Otacon replied absently, “but I don’t think Mei Ling could have found it so easily if that were the case.”

“You have a point. ...guess they didn’t really care about Liquid even in the end.”

Otacon opened his mouth, then closed it. He wasn’t going to ask Snake if he ever felt sorry for Liquid because he didn’t think he really wanted to know the answer. Instead he asked, “how’s security?”

“Automatic,” Snake grunted. “Cameras and lasers. Haven’t seen a single living soul yet.”

“Well, at least that makes things a bit easier, right?”

Snake just grumbled. He never seemed to care much about how ‘easy’ or ‘hard’ the mission was. Always said even simple in-and-out affairs still carried a very real risk of death, just as much as Shadow Moses ever did.

Ah, but FOXHOUND hadn’t wanted him dead until the very end, did they?

“I can see where they’re storing the bodies,” Snake said. “They’re all in drawers. Like a morgue.”

“Makes sense.”

“It’s cold in here.”

“I figured,” Otacon said. “So are they like, labelled or something?”

“Nametags, yeah. ...we don’t know Liquid’s real name.”

“It was classified. Maybe they’re just storing him under ‘Liquid Snake’.”

“...should I check the ‘L’s or the ‘S’s, then?”

“How am I supposed to know??”

Snake closed the channel again disgruntledly. Otacon drummed his fingers on his desk, waiting for the next call back.

It never came.

Anxiously he rang Snake back up, already opening up a dormant shortcut channel to Mei Ling in case things went south and they needed her to bail them out. Again.

Finally, Snake picked up. 

"Snake? Are you okay?"

A grunt. "...yeah. I found him. This place is giving me the creeps."

"Where was he?"

"L.  _ Les enfants terribles _ . I passed Jimmy Hoffa on the way there."

"Oh. Well, are you... packing him up? I don't want you to stay in there for longer than necessary." Otacon wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"..."

"Snake," he felt his voice getting irritated. "What's going on?"

"...there's another one. But it's empty."

"What??"

"Another one labeled  _ Les enfants terribles _ , except that it has my initials instead of Liquid's."

Otacon swallowed hard.

"Alright, just— just get out of there now, Snake. Please."

"Yeah, you're right. Fuck— he's heavy."

Otacon cringed. He  _ knew _ that.

"Call me back if you come across any issues. I'll be packing up over here so we can meet up and get the body to the hideout Mei Ling arranged."

Instead of replying, Snake just made a strained sound and ended the call.

Leaning back to stare at the ceiling, Otacon let out a sigh.

He was absolutely not prepared for this.

“Just put h- it down on the floor,” Otacon mumbled when Snake returned, already prying the lid off the cooler.

“I’m going to put him in the bathtub,” Snake said, shouldering the bathroom door open.

“Uh-oh.” The body bag was deposited into the tub with an unpleasantly wet-sounding  _ thud _ . “Wasn’t it refrigerated?”

“Power must have been knocked out at some point, either that or they took too long getting from Alaska to Indiana. It’s… gross.”

Otacon dragged the cooler into the bathroom, then pulled his shirt up over his nose. He could already smell it. Without asking if he was ready, Snake unzipped the body bag.

It wasn’t just the smell that hit Otacon like a punch in the gut. The sight, too, was bad enough. Maybe even worse. It could have  _ been _ worse. Liquid looked waxy and swollen and… leaky, flat eyes half-visible under unnaturally dark eyelids. His skin was strangely blue and black in some places and oddly greenish in others. Pinkish-gray slick foam stuck in his nostrils and mouth and any open wounds he had died with. He was naked - Otacon was afraid to look lower than his chest. One arm was missing. At least there didn’t seem to be insect activity.

“We need to dye his hair,” Snake said. “What’s left of it, anyway.”

Otacon nodded mutely and went to get the dye, a pair of scissors and a rag that he wrapped around his nose and mouth.

Mostly to avoid the smell, but partly to avoid Snake catching his miserable expression.

He grabbed a stool and sat next to the bathtub, hesitating for a second before touching his fingers to Liquid’s forehead – the skin was ice cold, spongy and weirdly firm to the touch, not at all soft and smooth like it had been in life. 

“Oh my god, Snake! Do you really have to do that here?” He stared accusingly at Snake’s lit cigarette through his fogged up glasses. 

“I’m stressed.”

“Gee, what do you think I feel like? You could at least have the decency to finish it outside!”

Snake grumbled but acquiesced and went back upstairs.

God, Otacon rather wouldn’t have been left alone with… it.

As he mixed up the hairdye he occasionally spared glances at Liquid’s unmoving face. He wasn’t completely gone – there were still hints of his former handsome face, full lips that were almost always curved into either a smirk or a childish pout. Otacon found himself staring at them for longer than he was comfortable admitting to himself.

Carefully he brushed back the slightly moist strands of hair, making sure not to pull them out.

Liquid always had had nice hair, silky and smooth and it smelled fucking  _ amazing _ – he liked to stop by Otacon’s lab to laze around and hide from work a little, occasionally leaning his head on Otacon’s shoulder to get him a little flustered.

“You’re distracting me...” Otacon stammered then, and Liquid just smiled brightly at him before asking if he could borrow the brand-new Nintendo DS lying on his desk.

After letting Liquid play around for a while, Otacon finally had taken pity on him and explained how to advance to the next Mario level. Overjoyed, Liquid had invited him to his quarters that night, not specifying what he planned to do exactly.

The dye didn’t work well – Liquid’s hair mostly turned out spotty and slightly greenish, though it was dark enough for Otacon to be satisfied with the result. 

He had to resist the frankly disgusting urge to lean down to kiss the lifeless body in his arms.

When Snake finally returned he helped him hold up Liquid’s head so Otacon could trim his hair in a rough-and-ready fashion. 

“It doesn’t look like me at all,” Snake assessed, touch lingering on Liquid’s jaw.

“He kind of does. Just, uh, dead and… well….” Otacon admitted nervously.

“Hrm.”

He couldn’t help but stare at Snake now, the resemblance was uncanny – now more than ever. It wasn’t the first time Otacon felt his chest ache when looking at Snake, but it had never been this bad.

“I need some air–“ he choked out and finally let go of Liquid. “You pack him back up. We gotta get going soon.”

And that was it. Liquid Snake was truly and definitely gone now.

* * *

It seemed the gambit worked because not long after they tipped the cooler into the waters of the Hudson, the death of “terrorist” Solid Snake was all over the media. Strangely Snake and Otacon didn’t feel particularly glad or even relieved. Sometimes Otacon almost felt like he was starting to believe the news, even though Snake was right here, alive, in front of him.

If the ‘waiting around’ part of the job had been bad before, it was excruciating now. All they could do was keep their heads low until the events kicked off by the tanker incident finally came to a head. It’d be years. At least Otacon could show his face in public. Hell, he had to. He had to throw Snake under the bus and make it out like he’d been acting all on his own. He couldn’t defend Snake’s innocence because going against the narrative would compromise his.

He became known as “reclusive”. It was a long way from “ a little bit of an oddball ”, where he’d started. What he’d been like when he first met the Snakes - Solid, and Liquid.

Especially Liquid.

Sure, he’d thought about Liquid occasionally over the last two years but seeing his body had sent his mind into overdrive. He just couldn’t get him out of his head. He even  _ dreamed _ about him.

He woke up in the middle of the night and for a moment, he didn’t realize that he was alone. He rolled over, fully expecting to see Liquid’s bare back and long hair resting on the pillow next to him. He wasn’t. Otacon was, in fact, not even in a big enough bed for two grown men anyway.

And honestly, he thought if he did see him, he would be as black and goopy as he was when they tossed him into the river. Otacon suddenly felt like throwing up.

He… missed him. Like, a lot. It was so stupid that Otacon had to resist the urge to bang his head against the wall next to his back, instead only tiredly pressing his forehead against the coarse wallpaper.

They had only known each other for a few months. Liquid Snake’s entire existence and everything that made him the man he was were worlds apart from Otacon – yet Otacon slowly came to realise that he hadn’t felt this close and…  _ careless _ with another person since…

“You put on a shirt…” he had told Liquid, trying not to gawk at the commander, seriously contemplating if he looked better with or without it. Otacon supposed he just happened to be one of those lucky bastards that could wear anything and look attractive still.

“Well, I figured if I invited you for dinner I might as well make an effort!” Liquid smiled and quickly ushered him into his quarters – but not without pulling him into a quick and awkward embrace. 

Christ, he was so damn hard to read and still the most honest person Otacon had ever met.

Frankly, with how touchy-feely and openly flirty Liquid had been lately, he wasn’t  _ that _ surprised when after all the winin’ and dinin’ he somehow ended up being pushed back onto Liquid’s bed. 

Maybe he was just tipsy, but he could swear it was much softer than the ones issued to him and his colleagues. 

Liquid kissed him, gentle but urgent – kind of clumsy really, but not at all inexperienced. Otacon tried to reciprocate, but the alcohol and his hyper awareness of  _ what was going on _ got the better of him and Liquid – attentive as ever – pulled back and studied his face.

“Sorry…” Otacon mumbled, unsure what else to say.

“It’s alright.”

Brows furrowed, Liquid observed his reactions to a soft touch to his neck, running a hand through his hair – then took off Otacon’s glasses and placed them on the nightstand.

“Uh. I really can’t see well without–“

“You’re actually kind of charming like this,” Liquid assessed.

The comment stung, but at the same time Otacon felt warm and sated and proceeded to tangle his fingers in Liquid’s hair like an absolute fool, pulling him back down into a kiss. 

At some point they had lost their clothes, every nerve in Otacon’s body on fire because of how anxious and needy he felt.

“I’ve never done it with another man,” he admitted then, voice small against Liquid’s pillow.

Liquid looked mildly confused in the dark, to the point of sitting back, giving Otacon a bit more room to breathe.

“ _ Really? _ ” Otacon cringed at how genuinely surprised he sounded, but Liquid just let out a childish giggle. “I had you pegged for a-- well…”

“Um. Sorry to disappoint?"

“No, it’s cute. I can show you the ropes.”

He seemed almost smug about it. It gave Otacon pause.

But what the hell, though. What else was he here for?

It was the first night they spent together but it wouldn’t be the last. Far from it. It became quite the habit. Liquid seemed to genuinely like Otacon and never  _ stopped _ liking him no matter how much he embarrassed himself. Liquid was just so much more… experienced. Otacon was almost afraid to ask him about his sexual history, though he wasn’t sure how he’d respond if Liquid asked him about his own.

To be fair, if Liquid told him that the other members of FOXHOUND were his harem, Otacon would not only readily believe him but also think that that explained a lot. He didn’t see how the other FOXHOUND members  _ could _ be around Liquid so much and  _ not _ become as enamored with him as Otacon was.

Well, Mantis probably was. Liquid and Mantis genuinely seemed like a couple which made Otacon wonder what exactly  _ he _ was. Friends with benefits? An interloper? Was this cheating? Mantis allowed it, at least tacitly. Like, there was no way he didn’t know about Otacon and Liquid. Otacon was frankly surprised Mantis hadn’t actually walked in on them at any point.

“You know I can read your mind, don’t you?” Mantis had asked him. It was the first time he’d deigned to speak to him.

“Uhh... well, I, I heard you were psychic and all but-”

“You think so  _ loudly _ , Doctor. It’s obnoxious.” This wasn’t going well. “Relax. As long as the boss likes you, you are safe from me.”

“...thanks?”

"Oh, don't get me wrong," Mantis waved him off. "I detest you. No matter how attached the boss might get to you – you are a mere distraction to him. He's  _ mine _ ."

Otacon looked Mantis up and down – he was dressed in the usual get up, all leather and latex and black and Otacon felt his cheeks heat up. He didn’t want to just believe Mantis without Liquid’s input but he had the creeping feeling that it was the truth. 

Mantis sighed, close enough to Otacon that he could make out the other man rolling his eyes behind the lenses of his mask. 

“Now, that’s no reason to get upset. I fact, I’ll let you in on a little secret – no harm in that considering we aren’t going to stay much longer on this dreadful lump of ice anyway.”

“...?”

“Nobody can make the boss happy, not even me. You don’t have to feel bad, there is no possibility of you ever getting close to understanding him beyond… well.” A deliberately disgusted noise escaped Mantis. “But just to be clear – if you ever hurt him or betray his trust… I will know. And I will make you regret it.”

With that Mantis was gone, leaving Otacon to stand there by himself, terrified and feeling even worse than before.

After that he tried to avoid Liquid a little, not wanting to give the creepy psychic any reason to seek him out again. He was quite unsuccessful at that though, since Liquid couldn’t be bothered to not sneak into the lab and kiss Otacon’s neck, scaring the life out of him just the next day.

“I told you not to do that!” he half whined-half grumbled and spun around in his chair.

Liquid smirked at him and probably was getting ready to kiss him again when he seemed to notice Otacon’s uncomfortable expression.

“Aw, I’m sorry. I didn’t think it upset you this much,” he admitted and apologetically raised his hands. “I just missed you, that’s all. Where’ve you been?”

Otacon grimaced.

“...it’s Mantis, isn’t it?”

“Huh?”

“It’s sort of obvious. Mantis talked to you, didn’t he?”

It was surreal that Liquid so easily pinpointed the cause of his distress. Otacon turned his head away. “He said… he said I’d never understand you and I could never make you happy.”

Liquid grimaced. “Damn him.”

“Sorry…” Otacon didn’t even know what he was apologizing for. Or what the big deal was. He didn’t really consider himself and Liquid to be a long-term thing. ...right?

“Listen, Doctor…” Liquid started, then shook his head. “Did he mention anything about, I don’t know, not sticking around much longer?”

“Yeah…? Why?”

“...if something big and drastic were to happen… could I count on you, Doctor? To be on our side. My side, I mean.” It was a sincere and serious question; Otacon could see that much, at least, in Liquid’s expression.

But at the time he had no idea what he was talking about and he said as much.

Liquid shook his head, deflated. “Nevermind.”

“Liquid--”

“Forget it. Nothing’s going on, don’t worry. Nothing’s going to happen.”

“Wha?”

“Just keep doing your job as usual. You’re doing good work here.” Liquid put a hand on Otacon’s shoulder and squeezed. “Just ignore Mantis. He feels very entitled to my company, that’s all.”

“Is what he said- true?”

“What?”

“That I’ll never understand you,” Otacon mumbled.

“...we come from  _ very  _ different backgrounds, doctor,” Liquid said and sighed quietly, “I don’t expect that kind of thing from you. It’s alright. For the record, you  _ do  _ make me happy.”

“Okay.”

It wasn‘t okay.

Sheepishly Liquid ducked down and pressed a quick kiss to the corner of Otacon‘s mouth.

“I’ll see you later?” Liquid’s voice was hopeful but there was a nervous edge to it that Otacon couldn’t exactly pinpoint.

“I– yeah. Yeah.” He tried to smile, tempted to ask Liquid to stop calling him ‘Doctor’ and just use his first name, forCchrist’s sake. They were having sex – shouldn’t that automatically make them move to first name basis?

Liquid left then, leaving Otacon alone with his work.

* * *

It had taken him all this time to realise that after all he maybe did understand Liquid – sure, at the time he hadn’t. But after what happened… after everything had gone so terribly,  _ terribly _ wrong in a matter of days…

Next to him on the couch Snake had gotten awfully close, though he was probably drunk anyway.

In front of them the TV news broadcast talked extensively about the  _ conspiracy _ behind the infamous Shadow Moses, the tanker incident and the death of the terrorist known as Solid Snake.

“I still can’t believe they fell for it,” Otacon mumbled.

“Hn.”

“I don’t think I’d believe it if I were me. That you’d go down so easily. Then again, I guess they don’t know you like I do.”

“Yeah.”

“Hey… are you okay?”

Snake blinked. “Yeah. Why?”

“You’re watching your own death on TV, over and over. That’s gotta be unnerving.”

“But I’m not  _ actually _ dead,” Snake said. “What about you?”

Otacon was taken aback. “Me?”

“How are you holding up?”

“What makes you think I--”

“You’ve been acting weird lately.”

“What, after the whole tanker thing? You almost died. I have to pretend you  _ are _ dead.” Otacon adjusted his glasses frenetically. “Am I just supposed to be all… emotionally unaffected by that?”

“You were fine until we got Liquid’s body,” Snake pointed out.

“...”

"Don't get me wrong, I wasn't exactly thrilled to see him again either. He was hell bent on killing me after all, pretty sure he was having some kind of episode towards the end."

Otacon cringed. "He wasn't like that before... that day."

Pausing, Snake turned to him with an open, almost uncharacteristic sympathetic expression. "Oh, I never even considered that you knew him beyond what happened back then. So what was he like?" He smirked. "Let me guess, the typical high school bully archetype?"

"Uh, actually he was quite friendly – charming even."

Snake stared at him, expression blank.

Otacon stumbled over his explanation. “He just wanted me on his side for his rebellion thing - was trying to make me like him.”

“Guess that didn’t work out, then , if he locked you up.”

“Uh… well, actually, it was more like he… never got around to actually telling me what he was doing. When he suddenly launched the coup I was as surprised as anyone.”

Snake raised an eyebrow. “You think you would have just went with it if he  _ had _ told you beforehand?”

“I wouldn’t have had much of a choice either way,” Otacon said with a helpless shrug. 

“You would have ended up locked up anyway.”

“Well, maybe.”

“ _ Maybe? _ ”

Trying not to lose control over his emotions, or to at least slow down the process, Otacon rubbed his face and adjusted his glasses.

"When he- when he did that, he told me it was so I would stay locked away safe, he seemed genuinely concerned about my safety..."

Of course Snake would laugh at that – he  _ was _ being ridiculous after all, a silly gullible boy who had yet again fallen for someone with ulterior motives.

“Hal,” Snake started and it took Otacon a moment to register that Snake had actually addressed him with his real name, which he rarely ever did. “Do you really still believe that Liquid ever acted for anyone but himself? He was such a sociopath that he didn’t even care about his own comrades dying, the things he told me when he pretended to be Master–“

“ _ Pretended! _ Exactly! He was playing a role, he did care for all of them deeply, he told me so himself! He even had something good to say about Ocelot of all people! And besides, you didn’t know him like I did!”

He was standing up now, stuck in a weird limbo where his brain hadn’t yet decided which route it wanted to go regarding fight or flight, but his hands were balled into fists and he just  _ knew _ that his face was getting awfully red. 

Snake didn’t seem so amused now. He frowned at Otacon who in turn kept on rambling.

“Liquid Snake was a good man! A lot like you, y’know? He was passionate and involved and had a keen sense of justice!” Snake blinked, clearly overwhelmed with Otacon’s uncharacteristic outburst. “But unlike you he didn’t waste all these qualities on getting drunk in the bathroom every night to wallow in self pity, he didn’t wait for others to clean up his messes or ran away from them! He–“

“Otacon, you should stop talking now.” His voice was but a dangerous growl and ripped Otacon out of his frenzy, causing him to freeze in terror.

“I- I’m sorry, Snake, but–“

“He was my brother, remember? Do you really think I never wondered about what could have been? If there was a way to stop him that didn’t involve… losing him?”

Otacon sat down again, face on fire as he looked at his lap in shame.

Snake scoffed. “But I’ve counted my losses. Liquid  _ chose _ to do this, he – despite all his claims – made himself into the person he was.”

“...”

“…just as you chose to not let your family’s history decide who you are, he chose to use his own conception to warrant his crimes.”

Tears fogged up Otacon’s glasses as Snake awkwardly rubbed his arm in an attempt to comfort him.

“Didn’t mean to make you cry there, sorry,” he said gruffly. “I wasn’t aware you, er, thought so highly of him?”

“Actually it was more than that–“ Otacon blurted out before probably looking just as shocked as Snake did at that.

“Excuse me?” Snake said.

“It- it was a whole thing. Liquid and I, I mean. A thing. Us.”

“What?”

“We were a thing.”

“A ‘thing’? What do you mean by that?”

Otacon blinked slowly. “We were like… dating? Yeah. Dating.”

“You were dating my brother???”

“Uh. Yeah.”

“Did he… force you, or something?”

He shook his head. “No, no. I told you - he was a good man. He was just doing what he thought was right. He and his unit had been wronged and he was trying to… to set it right.”

“By threatening to unleash nukes on the world.”

“I never said he made good decisions. But it’s like he was some moustache-twirling cartoon villain who’s just evil for the sake of being evil, okay? I  _ knew _ him. I  _ never _ thought things would end up like that.”

Snake huffed. “Well, they did. And we’re the ones who survived.”

“...yeah.”

There was a long and extremely uncomfortable pause.

“You really cared about him?” Snake blurted out.

“Yeah,” Otacon said.

“...right. I’m… sorry.”

“...it’s okay.”

He could tell that Snake was upset, maybe even  _ at him _ , but he didn’t know what to do. He was quite upset himself. He wanted to  _ explain _ , to convince Snake that he  _ hadn’t _ just been played for a sucker, that it was  _ real-- _ at the same time, he knew talking about it would be pointless and would hurt worse than if he just stayed silent.

* * *

One morning Otacon woke up before Liquid and ended up watching him over his pillow. When he made to reach for his glasses, Liquid started stirring and he quickly drew his hand back, pretending to be asleep.

Liquid just laughed and pulled him closer.

“There’s no point in hiding with you, huh?” Smiling, Otacon let himself be kissed.

“Oh please, you’ve hidden yourself away for way too long.”

And Liquid was probably right – he was utterly terrified of how vulnerable he was now, but Liquid was grounding and reassuring and excited and motivated in just the right moments, always pushing Otacon for more but never taking too much at once.

“You keep saying stuff like that but–“

Liquid simply ignored his complaints, brushed back a few stray strands of mousy hair and pressed his lips against Otacon’s neck.

“You think too much, Doctor.”

Otacon hummed and turned around to press himself closer.

So many things had gone wrong in his life, maybe finally letting himself trust someone again wasn’t the worst thing he could do. Maybe even someone like him could find love in a place so cold and detached from humanity.

* * *

“Hey, thanks for sticking with me,” Snake said and took a drag from his cigarette with shaking hands.

“You almost died, jeez. Don’t scare me like that.” Otacon wiped his mouth and got out the first aid kit. “Let me patch you up, you’re going to bleed all over the new carpet.”

“Uh huh.”

Maybe things were still going wrong and maybe they had changed him, left him numb and uncaring.

But he was grateful. Grateful for the warmth, the life beneath his fingers as he cleaned and bandaged his friend’s wounds, for Snake leaning his head against his shoulder as he worked.

Grateful for the love he had learned to give from the most unlikely people.


End file.
